We finally got our new allowance from VSO this month and it’s almost doubled. But aside from traveling, I’m so used to living at a scraping by level here that to do otherwise feels like a waste of money.
I don’t think my heavy consumerist streak is beat – I’m constantly obsessed with vicariously ordering food and clothes through friends, even though I don’t actually need any clothes. I have everything that I really need here, with the possible exception of skincare, but I did a big old Boots order and the project manager is bringing it when she comes in a couple of months.
My college roommate was here a couple weeks ago and left me all kinds of goodies in the form of random travel toiletries, snacks, and sunscreen/bug repellent. It was like getting a Christmas stocking – all sorts of treats you don’t need and wouldn’t have bought but really lovely to get nonetheless.
And after a few false starts where I made a lot of Amazon orders, I feel like I’ve more or less adjusted to going without here and worked out just how often I can afford a meal out or a trip to the beach. I’ve always been happy to wear clothes to their last threads (when I pointed out that my $2 Gap flip flops, now worn a bit thin, had been with me since college, my friend pointed out that while I may not like vintage clothes, I do have a tendency to keep wearing things of my own until they become so – and when I pulled a tank top that dates back to 2006 out of a drawer yesterday, I had to concede that she has a point.)
But the thing is that I love shopping. In the past year of living in London I managed to shop less and give away more, but let’s face it – if you’re wearing clothes for decades then your wardrobe becomes quite full even if you only shop a little.
I’m rather proud of managing right now, and while I love to think that this will be a whole new me and I can start saving thousands for a home deposit when I get back to England the reality is that I’ll probably be so excited to buy and eat everything once again that I do the opposite. It’s like going on a crash diet and then bingeing. While I’d like to think I can diet forever, I know I don’t have the willpower. As soon as I am able, I’ll be right back to consuming. My only hope is that maybe after an initial burst I perhaps manage to consume a little less than I was before.